1.时态I had never done ....., because I don’t think..... had改成have,时态一致
2.because I don’t think it’s right time we undertake ...... we改成for us to句子结构混乱
3I spent most of my free time reading......spend
4.I am sure excellent students in your university needn’t worry.... student;your改成my或者去掉,needn’t前加who引导从句
5.最后一大句感觉有点乱,你写这个是要为什么作为证明?但是没写清楚啊!这样结尾的话太突然了。
Unlike most other classmates, I have never been engaged in commercial job in the university, because I don’t think it’s right time for usto undertake commercial business. Moreover, our income will not equal to our labour. Instead, I spent most free time on reading , taking exerxise and joining voluntary activities .I read mathematical philosophy, economics ,classic literature and contemporary poetry. Basketball ,badminton and ping-pong are all my favorite sports. I am surethat excellent students in our university needn’t to worry about the tuition and living expenses .Actually, our team took part in a mathematical modeling contest on behalf of our university in Sep,2011,we got a 3rd contest prize and subsidy.